Introduction

My personal theory of counseling might be called a transformational theory. Many of the concepts and techniques come from my experience of transformation and others are based in traditional views of being human. In this paradoxical world there are a number of conflicting views that I consider compatible. I am a speeded affective, existential, transformational counselor with an Adlerian, Rogerian, Object Relations view of human beings, using psychodynamic, cognitive, behavioral, and mind-body techniques for treatment of individuals, their internal systems, and sometimes their external systems, often using trancework.

Seeking a Path or Seeking Love, Compassion and Forgiveness Without Knowing It

In 1965 or 66, I had it all (good job, beautiful wife, 2.3 kids, and a picket fence) and I was unhappy. I recalled being happier without "it all." Much later I learned that neither my wife nor the children (nor the picket fence) affected my context of happiness. I took my context of happiness into the family -- I was me wherever I was and I had a convincing act in order to keep "me" a secret.

I joined a group therapy program facilitated by a good friend, Dr. Bill Lyon, author of Let Me Live. At that time, he called his therapy, Therapy Therapy. He is an eclectic, adventurous therapist. He utilized both cognitive and affective techniques in the group. I experienced a major shift in my internal relationship with my father, who had died a short time before, through the Gestalt chair to chair technique. It was, I discovered later, an unidentified and unappreciated turning point in my life and career.

As a YMCA director, I discovered that I was a good listener/counselor. I could establish rapport rapidly and listen without judgment. Bill Lyon encouraged me to pursue a doctorate in psychology. I went part way. My degree is in human behavior with a solid background in psychology. I studied at United States (now, Alliant) International University in San Diego, California, which sprung from and consumed California Western, a Methodist university.

While in postgraduate school I worked with a drug prevention program that offered weekly training in every therapeutic technique, theory and stray thought that existed. San Diego was a hot-bed of psychology, so we met and worked with some of the present and future leaders in the field. In the early 1970’s, I experienced training or classes from Dr. Carl Rogers, Dr. Victor Frankl, Dr. Everett Shostrom and Dr. Harold Greenwald, among many other outstanding teachers and clinicians. My postgraduate years were rich beyond compare, and I did not feel "cured." My beard and long hair didn’t even help.

In 1975, a good friend went to the est training (est means "it is," now known as the "Forum"). After that our relationship grew steadily worse. That same year I met another est graduate who "blew me away." The est training transformed her life. I discovered that est was a very individual experience, so I went to the training kicking and screaming four years later. Nothing happened. I went to three or four follow-up seminars. Nothing happened. On my birthday, July 4, 1979, I was lying on my bed reading a Sociology textbook for a class I was preparing to teach and, POW, I got "it." SOMETHING HAPPENED! I truly experienced being reborn. I feel like I am in a second life (and there might be a third one around the bend). I had experienced something so simple that I wanted to share it. My life, my theory, and my work has evolved from that experience.

I knew I was going to do something profound, yet I was not yet sure what that was. Whatever it was needed a firm foundation of principles. My first task was to search for expressions of life principles that worked for me and were compatible with my quest (see Appendix A). The first application of the principles was in a workshop I created, called "How To Make Your Work Work," which later became "Conscious Management."