The Counseling Process

This section describes my primary process and is not a discussion of the counseling process in general. First, I will share an overview of the Breakthrough methodology, as utilized in individual sessions, and follow with more detailed description and examples. The Breakthrough Experience begins with a thorough discussion of the Breakthrough philosophy and several preparatory processes before initiating the individual experience.

Overview. The individual process begins with goal setting and a brief review of their "story." I describe my method of getting in touch with their "unconscious," along with a discussion of the unconscious and the existence of many "selves" within us. We then determine their present primary fear. I make contact with their "unconscious" in order to see if we are on the right track. If so, I enlist the "unconscious" to assist us to regress to the time in their life when that fear became part of their life. The time usually ranges from the fifth or sixth month in their mother’s womb to about three or four years old.

The initial sensitizing event or the decisive event is often felt as it was felt at the time. However, it is viewed from an adult perspective rather than a child’s perspective as well as, on most occasions, from the perspective of the parent(s) involved, most often the mother. The insight at that point is quite often transforming.

I usually ask them to create a picture of the transforming event or moment, often a tender, loving scene with their mother, and place it inside their body in a place they choose (heart, mind, soul, etc.). Along with the picture I suggest a cue (such as touching their heart) that will instantly bring back the picture and the feelings of that moment for as long as they live. I guide them back to the present very slowly and suggest they review the major events in their lives associated with their fear. They are able to experience each event with a new perspective and "flatten" the pain and miscommunication.

Group sessions are offered periodically as a follow-up for both individual counseling and for the Breakthrough Experience. One group is cognitive-behavioral oriented, with the purpose of identifying a life style that will help them maintain what they have learned and to support each other in the process of activating this lifestyle. A second group supports each participant to recognize their "true Self" (who they really are) and to remove the barriers to trusting the true Self to emerge. Also available upon request is an "open" group that is unstructured. Other groups are possible on specific topics such as relationships, pre- and peri-natal emotional issues and creating the conditions for nurturing a happy, healthy and secure child from planning to conception to birth and through early infancy.

The Counseling Process: Goal, Story and Techniques. The goal is established by the client. I encourage and assist them to be as specific as possible. The more specific the goal, the easier the process. It appears we are goal-oriented beings, and the more specific our goal the more likely our mind will keep us on the path to that goal. Also, during the regression, we seem to more easily stay on purpose.

Each person’s "story" is primarily an aid to creating a focus on their fear and their goal in order to assist their mind to assist them. It is also some help to me, although not absolutely necessary, to guide them in identifying their fear. In the process of identifying the fear I offer some alternatives while attempting to avoid interfering in their decision. Some of the alternatives are: a fear of abandonment, a fear of rejection, a fear of not being enough, among others. I often challenge their decision by asking, "If you were rejected, what would you be afraid of?" When the response is something like, "I’ll die," or "I won’t exist," I am confident we have reached the bottom line. Sometimes the fear is stated so profoundly or with such dread no questions are necessary.

Before attempting to make contact with the part of their psyche I call the "unconscious" or "Higher Self," I describe the process called ideodynamic response (by Ernest Rossi) or ideomotor response (by David Cheek) in Mind-Body Therapy: Methods of Ideodynamic Healing in Hypnosis by Rossi and Cheek. In a workshop with the late David Cheek, M.D., a pioneer in mind-body therapy, it was suggested that one ask the person to allow the nonconscious mind to indicate which fingers communicate which response. I found this difficult to use in a group so I assign a response signal to each finger and it works very effectively. The index finger is "yes," the little finger is "no," the ring finger is "I don’t know," and the middle finger, corresponding to a common gesture, means "I’m not going to deal with it, so lay off." I call this process Guided Ideomotor Response.

The idea that there is a level of "consciousness" not experienced by the conscious mind is not new and is familiar to most people. Parents of a new infant can be sound asleep and hear their baby cry or even whimper. What part of them is listening? People can leave work driving their car and arrive at home without remembering much of the drive or drive for miles on the highway without remembering. Who is driving? Many people have communicated with friends and relatives in coma through finger twitches and eye movements. With what part of that person’s consciousness are they communicating. Surgery personnel do not speak negatively about their patients while they are under an anesthetic that produces "unconsciousness." Who might hear? On one occasion only, I communicated with part of the conscious unconscious of an Alzheimer patient who appeared to be totally detached from the process.

In order to initiate the procedure, I often ask the person to close their eyes and begin counting backwards (in their thoughts) from 200 to one, while repeating "I am becoming more and more relaxed" after each count. This keeps the left hemisphere of the brain occupied while I ask to speak to or communicate with the "unconscious" or the "Higher Self." This process also leads to a trance state. I explain to the unconscious that the communication is through the nervous system and suggest they take all the time they need to set up the neural linkages. I simply ask the unconscious to let the index or "yes" finger move or raise when they are available. The percentage of people who respond is easily
80% (probably more) and 95% or more in the Breakthrough Experience. I do not know how this happens but I do know it is an involuntary response. I taught the therapist I went to for counseling in San Diego and he used the technique with me, sometimes without a trance state. I remember wondering what my answer would be to most of the questions asked.

The unconscious or whoever I reach by this approach usually knows the whole story, including cause. They help us get to the source but never reveal it directly. Sometimes Ican speak directly to the "unconscious" and have been told that such a revelation would not benefit the person. I have looked very closely at whether or not I lead the "unconscious" to make such a statement because it has been consistent in every case. It make no difference how sophisticated and knowledgeable or unsophisticated and ignorant the person is of psychology.

I also occasionally reach "somebody else." I may make contact with a "protector," whodoes not want this process to continue, or a "child," who may be scared or happy or innocent, etc., or another "self" who is interested in or involved in the fear upon which weare focused. The responses are generally through the left hand (possibly due to the functions of the right hemisphere of the brain), although sometimes it is through the right hand. Left-handed people respond equally through either hand. Often, while communicating with the "unconscious," through the left hand, the right index finger will begin twitching or the hand will begin to rise. It is usually another part of the person
trying to get my attention. There are many variations, too numerous to describe.

Following verification that we are on the right track, I ask the "unconscious" (and/or, occasionally, other "selves") to help as I regress the person to an earlier age. I ask the "unconscious" to signal me with the index finger when we pass through a time when there was a traumatic experience associated with the fear. The "time" is determined by counting backwards by years or months or weeks or days or hours.. The first five counts take a person back to age twenty and from that age we go back by years until it is appropriate to reduce the time spread represented by each count. At age one I often count by months or less to birth, and then by months or less to conception and just before conception. I added "just before conception" a few years ago after a number of people spontaneously arrived there (wherever that is) and were consistent in their descriptions of the experience.

Handling Barriers. There are, of course, barriers on the path taken when using the technique described and there are a myriad of alternative responses, each unique. However, there are patterns. Communication with the "unconscious" is not always possible; a "protector self" refuses to cooperate; or, the parent (usually the mother) who shows up by "switching," is unstable or distraught. These are the three most common barriers encountered during treatment.

When the "unconscious" does not respond I use a slow, deliberate, step-by-step process. It is possible to regress one fearful event at a time until we get back to the initial sensitizing event or the decision event. I used that process for years before learning the ideomotor response technique from Dr. David Cheek.

Often, when the "unconscious" does not respond, I ask if there is someone inside protecting the person from re-experiencing her/his fears. Quite often the index ("yes") finger pops up in response. This is often followed by minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years (in three or four cases in the past twenty five years) of negotiating. Most negotiations are short-term. If it is a long-term block, many people continue working on and improving other areas of their life by working around the barrier. George worked on many phases of his life for about six years, off and on. Finally, his "protector" permitted us to get to the issue. He experienced his father attempting to smother him when he was nine months old. When this block was finally removed his whole life transformed. He is now a therapist.

The "protector" is enrolled in the process. We determine that we have similar goals just different methods. We look at the protector’s logic about her/his method of protection and the results. Usually, the "protector" realizes that his/her methods result in the fear being sustained, so they become engaged with me in a process that may get the results we both want.

If the person with whom the client "switches" is not in good shape, I carry this modification of the Gestalt chair-to-chair technique one step further. I "switch" the parent with their mother. Often I regress the parent with whom the client has "switched" to their own childhood, ask them to describe their experience, and assist them to understand it by "switching" with their mother. On other occasions, if the issues appear to be systemic, I will communicate with the entire family through the client. It is possible to do a form of family therapy through one person.

The "switching" process seems very real to most people. Some people report being detached inside and being observers of themselves being their parent. Information often is brought to consciousness that the client does not know they know -- and it almost always checks out to be true, especially in the realm of emotions. Some experiences have been verified immediately when parents and their adult children attended a Breakthrough Experience together.

It appears that we do know the truth about our past miscommunications, yet that truth does not seem to affect our belief system, upon which we base our behavior and, therefore, get our results in life. How do we know that truth? And where is it when we need it? Why do we believe something else when the truth is sometimes (not always) easily accessed by trancework or ideomotor response? When "switching" takes place, we are accessing a realm of the mind that goes beyond our usual perception. What is that realm?

The Source of Barriers. All of our barriers have the same source -- fear. Fears are manifested in a variety of creative ways. Social cues may trigger them, such as an interaction with one’s supervisor that reminds the person of an unpleasant parental interaction (usually unconsciously) when they were younger. If the cue is social or external, we can shift the responsibility for examining our fears to an external force we "cannot" control. When fears are manifested in ill health, it can be considered an act of God or strictly biological. When the fear is manifested internally we have to be especially clever, since we are in the domain of the truth. That is were the belief system is useful. We can have or manufacture a belief that is a block to dealing with our fears. "It would interfere with my relationship with my mother" or "cause me to get a divorce" or "everybody knows it is dangerous to get into our emotions." The internal protectors when I have been able to communicate with them vocally, do not usually give reasons. They simply do not permit the person to experience the emotion.

I enter into the process of dealing with the blocks by honoring the person’s (or "self’s") right to have the barrier. I often congratulate them for doing such a good job protecting the person (themselves). I may ask them to respond "as if" they did not have the block. If they do not know why they cannot or do not want to respond to a question about their fear, I immediately ask, "What if you did know?" Very often they will respond immediately with an insightful comment.

I most often use a cognitive approach when dealing with blocks, as illustrated above. We may discuss the dynamics or mechanics of blocking feelings (i.e., "What you resist, persists"). Or, we may negotiate by looking rationally at what the person wants and whether or not they are getting that by their present behavior. The "protector self" always, in my experience, wants to help "who they are." The objective, at this step, is to come to an agreement regarding the process of getting to the source of the fear. The "protector" is often enrolled in creating an innovative method of protecting the client while not interfering with re-experiencing the initial sensitizing event.

A Case. An actual case would best illustrate the next phase of the process. Jenny was an attractive woman, 28 years old, with a pleasant personality, yet a little nervous or shy around people. She had grown up in a loving, upper middle class family, after being adopted at birth. For a while Jenny lived next door to a famous actor and actress and she
grew up with their children. In spite of a storybook childhood, she experienced unhappy relationships with men and "hid out" at work, even though she was skilled at her job.

Jenny’s presenting problem was her unhappiness with being placed on probation at work and being threatened with dismissal. Her job required her to take initiative but Jenny feared rejection if she made a mistake. As a result, she did as little as possible. Jenny later revealed that she had been married and abandoned after eighteen months, followed by a three year "live-in" relationship that turned out the same. At that point, Jenny decided she would never again have a relationship with a man. She also decided to attend a Breakthrough Experience.

During the Breakthrough Experience regression, the "unconscious" signaled that there were issues at birth and during the ninth month of pregnancy. After asking the "unconscious" where to begin, we went to the intrauterine experience. Jenny began to cry. I asked her what message she was receiving. She stated that she "was not wanted." At that critical point I suggested she "switch" places with her mother. Initially, I ask them to imagine a part of their essence or energy (perhaps in a ghost-like form) going out of them and inside their mother’s head. Without saying another word about the process, I begin asking to speak with the mother, whose name I have already recorded. I keep
asking until there is a response. Jenny’s biological mother answered. Sometimes I begin by asking questions and sometimes I suggest that the "switching" process follow a statement or question from the participant.

Jenny’s "mother" verified she did not want Jenny. When asked if it was Jenny specifically or if she did not want any baby, she responded she did not want any baby. Her decision had nothing to do with Jenny, it had to do with the size of their family and the size of their income. She emphasized she loved Jenny very much and it was a heart wrenching act to give her up. However, she and the father had been assured the adopting family was wonderful, so she was sure Jenny would have a better chance in life with them. Jenny created a mental picture of her mother lovingly stroking her stomach and thinking of the baby with love. She stored that picture, along with the feelings, in her heart.

We then moved to the birth experience. It was very unpleasant. Both the mother and the baby were at risk of dying. Jenny was quite descriptive of the circumstances and the feelings of fear. I asked her what she had decided as a result of the whole experience. Immediately, Jenny said, "If I’m not wanted, I’ll die." Note: Jenny had never discussed her birth with her adopted mother and did not know who her biological mother was. Her adopted mother, Katherine, had received a letter from the biological mother, through the adoption agency, describing her birth. She had meant to give the letter to Jenny when she grew up but forgot she had it. When Jenny described her BE experience to her, Katherine recalled the letter and retrieved it. When she and Jenny read the letter together, they were astounded at the accuracy of Jenny’s description. Katherine signed up for the next Breakthrough Experience.

The results have been gratifying. Jenny had felt as if she was going to die after each of her relationships ended, so she had given up relationships to avoid those feelings. She is now married and has a child. Also, she not only got off probation at work, she eventually got a raise. A year or so later, she got a similar job at a larger company at an increase in salary of about $8,000. When I spoke to Jenny on her birthday in 1996, she advised me she had a lead position with an international health related corporation. However, she was upset with me for moving to Columbus, Ohio, and not being in San Diego during her pregnancy and the birth of her baby.