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| THEORY AND METHODOLOGY Introduction My personal theory of counseling might be called a transformational theory. Many of the concepts and techniques come from my experience of transformation and others are based in traditional views of being human. In this paradoxical world there are a number of conflicting views that I consider compatible. I am a speeded affective, existential, transformational counselor with an Adlerian, Rogerian, Object Relations view of human beings, using psychodynamic, cognitive, behavioral, and mind-body techniques for treatment of individuals, their internal systems, and sometimes their external systems, often using trancework. Seeking a Path or Seeking Love, Compassion and Forgiveness Without Knowing It In 1965 or 66, I had it all (good job, beautiful wife, 2.3 kids, and a picket fence) and I was unhappy. I recalled being happier without "it all." Much later I learned that neither my wife nor the children (nor the picket fence) affected my context of happiness. I took my context of happiness into the family -- I was me wherever I was and I had a convincing act in order to keep "me" a secret. I joined a group therapy program facilitated by a good friend, Dr. Bill Lyon, author of Let Me Live. At that time, he called his therapy, Therapy Therapy. He is an eclectic, adventurous therapist. He utilized both cognitive and affective techniques in the group. I experienced a major shift in my internal relationship with my father, who had died a short time before, through the Gestalt chair to chair technique. It was, I discovered later, an unidentified and unappreciated turning point in my life and career. As a YMCA director, I discovered that I was a good listener/counselor. I could establish rapport rapidly and listen without judgment. Bill Lyon encouraged me to pursue a doctorate in psychology. I went part way. My degree is in human behavior with a solid background in psychology. I studied at United States (now, Alliant) International University in San Diego, California, which sprung from and consumed California Western, a Methodist university. While in postgraduate school I worked with a drug prevention program that offered weekly training in every therapeutic technique, theory and stray thought that existed. San Diego was a hot-bed of psychology, so we met and worked with some of the present and future leaders in the field. In the early 1970’s, I experienced training or classes from Dr. Carl Rogers, Dr. Victor Frankl, Dr. Everett Shostrom and Dr. Harold Greenwald, among many other outstanding teachers and clinicians. My postgraduate years were rich beyond compare, and I did not feel "cured." My beard and long hair didn’t even help. In 1975, a good friend went to the est training (est means "it is," now known as the "Forum"). After that our relationship grew steadily worse. That same year I met another est graduate who "blew me away." The est training transformed her life. I discovered that est was a very individual experience, so I went to the training kicking and screaming four years later. Nothing happened. I went to three or four follow-up seminars. Nothing happened. On my birthday, July 4, 1979, I was lying on my bed reading a Sociology textbook for a class I was preparing to teach and, POW, I got "it." SOMETHING HAPPENED! I truly experienced being reborn. I feel like I am in a second life (and there might be a third one around the bend). I had experienced something so simple that I wanted to share it. My life, my theory, and my work has evolved from that experience. I knew I was going to do something profound, yet I was not yet sure what that was. Whatever it was needed a firm foundation of principles. My first task was to search for expressions of life principles that worked for me and were compatible with my quest (see Appendix A). The first application of the principles was in a workshop I created, called "How To Make Your Work Work," which later became "Conscious Management." Creating BE, the Breakthrough Experience I was teaching psychology and sociology at a university attended primarily by adults with five or more years of work experience. In 1982, following one psychology course with a particularly exciting group (many of us are still in regular contact), several students and I began meeting every Friday evening to "continue" the class discussions. After several months we decided to go away for a weekend of undisturbed discussion. They even took the initiative to pay me at my daily consulting fee. I felt that we needed some form of structure, so I decided to create a process that led to an individual result, without knowing what that would be. With that vision, my background in human behavior, and my recent experiences in hypnotherapy in the newly formed Psychotherapy Associates, I sat down to write. The process flowed from mind to pen to paper with astonishing speed and it made sense. Even the original name, "Breakthrough Weekend," popped into my mind as I began to record the process. The weekend experience was amazing! The participants wanted to share it with their friends, so we held another Breakthrough Weekend in the same cabin in the mountains near San Diego. At the third Breakthrough I was clear that experience was going to continue. As of April, 2003, 94 Breakthroughs have been conducted in California, 31 in Central Ohio, and the name has changed from Breakthrough Weekend to Breakthrough Experience (BE). What has not changed, in context and most of the content, is the process. The changes have been made to simplify the experience in order to promote clarity, while retaining the power of the experience. My skill at presenting the Experience has improved and the most significant improvement is my increasing ability to trust my intuition. In 1985, a five month study was conducted by Dr. Jo Ann Dewey (Utilizing a Short Term Therapeutic Model to Ameliorate a Lowered Self-Concept, a dissertation submitted to The Professional School of Psychological Studies, San Diego, California, 1986) on the self-concept results of the Breakthrough Experience. The experimental groups showed significant positive changes in total positive self-concept during the Breakthrough Experiences, contrasted to a slightly lowered self-concept during the control period. Further research might be done on the long-term effects of the Experience. I have a complete file of participant testimonials and personal knowledge of a large number of long-term successes. My theory has evolved and been tested during the more than 125 Breakthrough Experiences conducted since 1982 in California and Ohio. I credit myself with the perseverance to continue to study human nature and human behavior over the years. I credit my direct work with BE participants to an unconscious aspect of my being or to a supreme being or to a supreme consciousness which guides the use of my resources. A Theory of Transformation A View of Human Nature Free Will/Determinism. We are conceived in determinism and have the potential of maturing into the context of "free will." In the womb our space is determined by the uterine walls; our biology is determined by the interaction of our genetic inheritance and the early influence of the uterine environment and home environment; our initial biological rhythms are determined by the biological rhythms of our mother; our emotional state is influenced by the emotional state of our mother and, the biological state of our mother (do we know, as yet, whether our "chemical imbalances" cause our behavior and feelings, or vice versa?) during the pregnancy and our early life; and our intelligence and general well being are determined by our genetic make-up and by the amount of stimulation before and after birth initiated by our mom and dad and/or our caretakers. All of these elements have an influence on our physical well being. These statements are supported in prenatal and perinatal research (visit the Association for Prenatal and Perinatal Psychology and Health website for more information). Our childhood is determined by our relationship with our parents, particularly our mother. Our entire life is determined, in varying degrees, by our relationship with our mother, as identified in object relations and attachment theory. [Note: this is not an indirect way to attach "blame" to mom. "Blame" does not exist in my theory of transformation. Mother is often at the effect of her environment, which includes Father or mate, her parents, her siblings, her children, her experience of being a child, her friends, relatives, co-workers, and her experience of the world in which they all live. The mother’s environment is experienced by the child through the mother.] The security of that relationship will affect our ability to direct our own actions; to act instead of react; and, to foster stable intimate relationships and friendships. Totally free will and choice are possible, not probable. The context of free will is available to those who know about it and who are prepared for it. I believe it is possible to move from a) determinism to b) determinism, except when we exercise free will, to c) free will, except when we react to external influences. The latter is the "context" of free will. We are free, except when we are not. Since the experience of free choice is not fostered in this society, we have to discover it. At the same time, we still hang on to some of our early deterministic lessons, either consciously or unconsciously. Nature/Nurture. An important element is often left out of the nature/nurture equation -- the mind. The environment and our view of "reality," which we "inherit" from our parents through our mother, interacts with our genetic make-up long before we are born. There certainly are natural influences. Body size alone influences our role and/or feelings about ourselves. There are also chemical influences that may relate to personality and mental health. However, these influences may be minimized or disappeared (as well as maximized) in the womb. It is very possible that many of the chemical "predispositions" that are thought to affect temperament or contribute to addiction and mental disorders are innate or present at birth but not genetic. The temperament and/or the mental health of the mother may even influence the change in body chemistry of the child (the fetus). Past/Present. The context of our life is established in the past. A context shift can take place in the present, depending on the depth and focus of present experiences. The future is very "real" when we create it being so, and the fear of what does not yet exist (and, technically, never will) can result in inaction or exciting challenge and courageous action. We are most vulnerable physically during the first trimestre in our mother’s womb. We are most vulnerable emotionally during the period before birth, at birth, and shortly after birth. We have not yet learned to defend ourselves. I believe we receive constant messages chemically and directly while in the womb and, based on the quality of these messages, we make decisions about how wonderful or not this new experience of life is and will be. It is a mechanical process and, of course, unintentional on the mother’s part. These decisions show up in a child’s mind just as a path appears in a field when a person walks in the same place over and over. It is not the fault of the field, and the person is simply attempting to go where they need to go on the only path they know. A path is created in the mind of a fetus when mom is experiencing peace, love and support, and when she is experiencing loss, repeated doubt about herself, constant fear or harsh treatment. A path can also be cut with a backhoe. Extreme trauma, such as a severe beating or the sudden death of a spouse can have an immediate impact upon the fetus. For example, in The Secret Life of the Unborn Child by Thomas Verny (immediate past president and founder of the Association for Pre- and Peri-Natal Psychology and Health) with John Kelly, research reports that the death of a father during pregnancy has more impact on the physical and mental health of the child than the death of a father following the child’s birth. These mechanical decisions create a new context, or general condition, of life, replacing our natural context of peace. Context, however crude or generalized, is context, and it is very powerful. It is the origin of "self-fulfilling prophecy." The textbook of my early Christian education states, "As a man (and woman) thinketh, so is (s)he." Our perception of life is established very early, and we continue to prove that our perception is correct until a context-level intervention or transformation takes place. There are many paths to transformation and a variety of transformational therapists. Fortunately, there is a variety of levels of context (ecstatic to depraved). The appropriate people often attract each other and sometimes both the client and transformer aretransformed. I agree with a basic concept of object relations theory that a primitive sensory intelligence exists that enables a child to divide the world into satisfying and dissatisfying sensations. However, I think this intelligence exists before birth where the relationship with mom really begins. I also think the fetus has more of a sense of separateness than we now realize -- which does not change the child’s dependence upon the mother. Universality/Uniqueness. Universality and uniqueness exist in two distinct realms. At one level we are all the same. At another level we are very different. Patterns certainly exist but can be both helpful and misleading when working with a particular person in therapy. I will comment first on how we are alike because how we are alike is more significant than how we are unique. Patterns, by the way, exist only in the "unique" realm. There are no degrees of universality. In that realm we are simply alike. An existential theorist, protege of Victor Frankl, and creator of Axiotherapy, George Vlahos, postulated that we all need to love and be loved; desire and be desired; understand and be understood; and respect and be respected. One of the most well known humanists, Abraham Maslow, proposed that all human beings share a set of basic needs. Harold Lasswell, a well known sociologist and political scientist, along with W. Ray Rucker, former dean of the School of Leadership and Human Behavior at United States International University in San Diego, tested their set of basic value needs for over six decades, concluding they are not only holistic but universal. We, as human beings, share the same context (or "context of contexts"), the same needs, the same desire for love and peace. The youth of the sixties were clear about what was needed. They sought love and peace by attempting to modify many of society’s institutions other than the one charged with providing the base for love and peace, the family. The foundation for love and peace begins at home and we continue to recreate it in the form in which we were trained. The expression of our underlying sameness (our context of contexts) is unique to every human being. It is part of being human. Our uniqueness begins in childhood (including our intrauterine experience) as we learn/struggle to survive in our circumstances. We share characteristics, such as functioning more effectively in goal-oriented circumstances, though the expression of these attributes (such as our goals) is markedly unique; and we share behavioral dimensions, such as extrovertism and introvertism, that point out specific ranges of behavior while allowing for unique expression. Optimism/Pessimism. We are created in a natural state of optimism and growth potential in a context of peace. There may be exceptions to that but they are not genetically based exceptions. A theory held by some in the field of pre- and peri-natal psychology is that there may even be a psychological trace from the attitude of parents at the time of conception. There are already workshops (in California, of course) on conscious conception. I do not believe or disbelieve this theory (fortunately, it is either true or not regardless of my belief). However, when it comes to the creation of new life I would certainly suggest the safest alternative. That is, I would support the practice taught at these workshops to welcome a new life during intercourse with the purpose of creating new life. So, most of us are created in a natural state of optimism and growth potential in a context of peace -- or, maybe all of us, even if it is difficult to feel or recognize. I have been doing my own "peace survey" for the past twenty years of so. I have asked several thousand students and workshop participants about their desire for peace. The question has been, "Is there anyone in the room who does not want to be at peace?" So far, no one has raised their hand. Sometimes I ask, "Is there anyone in the room who knows very clearly what pure peace really is?" On a few respond that they do. If this very unscientific survey has any validity, why does everybody want to be in a state in which most of them have no experience? Everybody does have an experience of peace (except, of course, those who do not -- at least in this lifetime) and it is remembered. However, most do not remember that they remember. People I have known respond with assurance that they want to return to a state of peace without having a clear idea why they are so sure. I believe the experience of peace is recorded indelibly during the first days, weeks or months in the womb. This early experience is largely responsible for supporting thousands of therapists, workshops, off-the-wall groups and techniques, and a thriving self-help book/recording industry. Many other professions and fields of endeavor also owe the "search for peace" The experience of peace may be the psychological state of homeostasis. If we do not know something about our natural state of peace, why would people be trying so hard to get cured of their upbringing? Why is our physiological state of disequilibrium called "dis-ease?" I also believe we are created in a state of optimism and completion. Emotionally, we are complete and whole. Nothing needs fixed. That is, nothing needs to be added to us or taken away from us to make us emotionally healthy individuals. We are naturally healthy emotionally. Who would not be optimistic about that!? In that completed, perfect state we would not know what else to be. Maslow has pointed out that we tend to move in a growth direction. If their is a requirement to "grow" psychologically or emotionally, even though we were probably created as emotionally healthy beings, there must be some kind of early intervention that convinces us that our natural state is not natural. In my opinion, this pathological intervention appears before birth in many cases and, by the nature of the circumstances, appears to be relational. If my theory is correct, the term "growth " is inaccurate. If we are already complete emotionally at conception, then how do we "grow" in life to a state we have already experienced? In order to heal ourselves, we need to remove the barriers we have created (mechanically and unintentionally) to experiencing our natural state of emotional health. A book that supports this point of view states the view very clearly in its title, Love Is Letting Go Of Fear. Actually, the author apparently supports this point of view and he is Gerald Jampolsky. This natural and healthy state of peace coexists with love in the context of contexts. The pathological event (aberrant variation in experience) is one of the many manifestations of fear. Love cannot be destroyed but it can be buried deeper and deeper by fear. A child, before or after birth, learns pessimism and can return to the experience of optimism and peace as the barriers of fear are disappeared (see the section on treatment, "A View of Counseling and the Counseling Process"). How do I know our natural state is love and optimism? I do not know it in a way I can prove it. And, I do know it. Additionally, there is some interesting research going on in the field of health psychology and the study of Psychoneuroimmunology. The work of Carl Simonton, Bernie Siegel, and Gerald Jampolsky, particularly with cancer patients of all ages, is becoming well known. At Ohio State University the mind-body connection is being explored by a psychologist and immunologist (Kiecolt-Glaser and Glaser) partnership. The work of the Program of Psychoneuroimmunology at the University of California, Los Angeles, School of Medicine is reported in Head First: The Biology of Hope, by Norman Cousins. The experiences and research results reported indicate the powers of the mind and of love can be employed to heal us physically. If love was not our natural state, how could expressions of love and the experiences of peace heal us? If we were naturally neutral there would probably be no results from this research. If we were naturally evil, it would seem that nasty thoughts and behaviors would return us to a healthy state. We are already healed! We need to recreate the state of natural health. Are People Basically Rational or Irrational? Yes. We appear to have been created with a wonderful mix of rationality and irrationally. The "rational" is considered to be dominant by some left brain-right brain theorists (localized in the left hemisphere), while others credit the right hemisphere with the ability to "see the big picture." I theorize that the functions of the left and right hemispheres of the brain were created equal and the dominance of one side over the other is a result of life experience. Motivation. There appear to be both internal and "external" motivators. However, in the end, motivation is always internal. The behavioral choices we make, however, are sometimes strongly influenced by unconscious internal sources, which may feel like "no choice." When we notice that making choices becomes difficult we would probably benefit from some type of intervention. I believe we share a set of basic needs with every other human being and we will satisfy these needs in an appropriate manner unless they are thwarted. Then we may satisfy them in an inappropriate manner. The set of basic needs that has been most helpful to me was developed by Harold Lasswell and further developed by W. Ray Rucker. They include: Affection, Respect, Responsibility, Power and Influence, Personal Well Being, Economic Well Being, Understanding and Skill. I have combined this set of basic needs with a planning approach created by Roger Kauffman into the Basic Need Approach to Planning and Needs Assessment. It was the only theory-based planning approach found in a thorough search of the literature in 1991. If you are interested in more information, please contact me at Lynn@BreakthroughExperience.com. Need is usually seen as the lack or absence of something resulting in mental or physical deprivation. It can also be said that need is an action energy that seeks fulfillment in a culturally appropriate and culturally understood manner. Unfortunately, all cultures do not support need fulfilling behavior and may even encourage unsupportive behavior. For example, I learned that little boys do not cry. Now we are learning that crying is beneficial psychologically and physiologically. Often people have to be taught how to recognize the expression of love when the intention is present and the cues are not evident. The action energy associated with needs is not so strong that we cannot control our behavioral expression of needs; nor is it so weak that we can control their expression for an extended period of time without some behavioral or psychological or physiological consequence. This action energy is not to be confused with instincts. The expression of needs is culturally based, whereas instincts are expressed the same behaviorally in any context. We also appear to be goal driven beings. Not many people set goals but when they do it seems to be an effective motivator. Psychological and physiological disequilibrium produce a behavioral response. The clearer we are about our goal and its benefits to us and/or to others, the more likely we will move in the direction of reaching the goal. If we feel anxious or our heart is beating rapidly, we may be motivated to sit down and relax. Hunger, thirst and sex have both physiological and psychological incentives to action. Sex differs, in that satisfaction is usually desirable but not essential to the life of a human being. David McClelland conducted research and training in psychologically based motivation for over thirty years. He made two or three generations of business people aware of the need to achieve, the need for affiliation, and, later, the need for acknowledgment and power. They each have another side, from the fear of failure to the fear of powerlessness, that motivates people to act. Although the action may sometimes be similar for each need at either end of the enhancement--deprivation continuum (i.e., moving toward achievement or away from failure) the psychological consequences for the individual are quite distinct. Every day, in my capacity as a business relationship consultant or a health planning consultant, I see the results of the enhancement and deprivation of our basic needs. I have also verified these results in job satisfaction surveys and interpersonal sociograms. Not too long ago, the management of an organization in which I had done periodic testing may have expected the level of morale to raise noticeably after a significant pay raise. Job satisfaction was actually lower than the year before, comparing the results of the same job satisfaction instrument. More money may keep people on the job but it takes a variety of supportive management actions to sustain and improve job satisfaction. A View of How People Learn How Does a Person Learn? We are programmed to learn. We are naturally learning beings. We cannot stop or start learning. We can, however, speed it up, slow it down, and direct it. We learn in all of the major theoretical modes (and some we have not yet identified). Pavlov, Skinner, Bandura, Piaget and others are all correct about some of the basic processes of learning. We all respond in a conditioned manner to a sound, a sight, a smell, a taste, or a touch. We have all experienced the shaping of our behavior (a child learns to walk to the cheers and celebration of every step). We certainly learn by observing and imitating behavior and we mature in a certain order. Learning is also both enhanced and limited biologically. These models point out the complexity of learning -- and they point out only a modicum of the complexity. Unlearning will be considered later. The Relationship Between Cognition, Affect and Behavior. An example of the complexity of learning is the relationship between cognition, affect and behavior. In some learning experiences all three of these human aspects are present; in others they are separate (as separate as can be in an intra-active, holistic, integrated being); and in other experiences they combine in several variations. A father has just left his family, the mother and a 16 year old son. Both the mother and son are feeling the trauma of separation as the mother discusses the new behaviors she will need in the son’s relationship to the household. She is reasonable and understanding, as well as clear about what she anticipates and he takes a sudden leap in maturity as he responds with appropriate behavior to his mother’s requests. The son has observed his mother’s emotional and healthy response to their dilemma and responds with appropriate behavior. The trauma of the circumstances provides both meaning and an anchor to what he has learned about and from his mother. If the son does not share the mother’s grief because he does not really feel close to his father due to the father’s world travels, he may learn from his mother’s emotional and healthy response but not connect with the enormity of the event for his mother and not respond with empathic behavior. Also, the enormity of the event may overwhelm the son so much he does not recognize his mother’s response and his only response is with no change in behavior due to denial. Deep inside he may feel abandoned. Another possibility is that he feels little or nothing, does not experience his mother’s courage, and behaves appropriately out of duty to his mother. The combinations are limitless when the "level" of responses is considered. Relatively permanent learning is possible in any of the three realms being considered. One can learn from repeated messages and/or behavior modeling; from emotional trauma; and behavioral repetition. Critical Learning Periods. Critical periods of learning are very early in life, in the presence of a threat to our existence, and in association with hunger, pain, sex and intense stimuli. Although I believe that all learning is possible at any time in life, it may not be probable at times that one can learn life enhancing thoughts and behaviors due to the intensity of the initial event(s), physical limitations, and/or socialization (which impacts the motivation to learn what works to be at peace). There are two major domains of learning: (1) the content domain and (2) the contextual domain. The content domain includes all ideas, behaviors and habits. The contextual domain is outside of the process or processing required in the content domain. It is the domain that requires no process. It is where our ideas, our perceptions and our behaviors spring from, yet is has no form. It provides form. It cannot be described because describing it is in the content domain. So as I describe it, the description is not it. Context is the basic condition of our life that is formed mechanically early in life and serves to direct unthinkingly and automatically the course of our thinking and acting. It is the domain of the half full or half empty glass. It is the domain of true trust and mistrust. It is the domain of happiness and unhappiness that is enduring and not reactive to the circumstances (which could be described as "content" happiness and unhappiness). In the content domain there is change. In the context domain a shift is possible, and it would "look like" transformation or a paradigm shift. In the content domain love exists or not as expressed in ideas and behaviors. In the contextual realm, love exists or not. As you may have read earlier, I also refer to a "context of contexts." The context from which all contexts spring is pure love. So even if the context of love does exist in someone’s life, it still springs from a greater context of pure love. It is my belief that our nature and basic context is pure love not hate nor a blank slate. Sometime between conception and around birth the context of life is formed through communication with the mother and is the result of her "context" and experiences with the father, relatives, and her circumstances. The context can shift or transform, and the initial formation of one’s context shapes one’s view of life until a shift takes place, which cll need in the son’s relationship to the household. She is reasonable and understanding, as well as clear about what she anticipates and he takes a sudden leap in maturity as he responds with appropriate behavior to his mother’s requests. The son has observed his mother’s emotional and healthy response to their dilemma and responds with appropriate behavior. The trauma of the circumstances provides both meaning and an anchor to what he has learned about and from his mother. experience, and so on and so on and so on. The experience of love between two people, for example, can become more and more conceptual and ritualistic with the couple not knowing what happened. It seems reasonable that the earlier a context forming event or series of events happens, the more justified the ideas and feelings springing from that context become. Also, the earlier such an experience occurs the fewer tools the child has for understanding the circumstances and/or defending oneself from the consequences. Perhaps the force behind any situation is, as object relations theory points out, the child’s relationship with the mother. The complete dependence on mother can result in a seemingly traumatic event for the child without the mother even being aware of it. A child who already feels abandoned, due to separation at birth or adoption, may be terrified if mother does anything unusual such as stay away from home an extra few hours. Children or adults may have learning experiences that might be difficult to unlearn if they are confronted with a threat to their existence or with an intense stimulus accompanied by a message that is real or imagined. If a female child or an adult female experiences forced sex it could result in generalized fears of sex and/or of men. I believe each event in our life inherently has a message for us and, depending upon the repetition of the message, the duration of the message and/or the intensity of the message, we make a decision (or set of decisions) about life based upon the message(s). Sex is dirty or men are bad or other decisions may be made as the result of incest or rape. It is possible to change those decisions and it may not be easy. How Does a Person Unlearn and How is Behavior Changed? Unfortunately, unlearning is not as simple as learning. Even an intensely loving atmosphere may not by itself overcome a child’s decision that they are unloved. There are many paths to unlearning. I believe many, perhaps most, personal issues that motivate a person to seek therapy are the result of miscommunication, thus inaccurate messages and inappropriate decisions. This brings us back to the context of contexts. Love is, in my opinion (and in my experience), the context of contexts. It is in this ultimate context the presence and absence of "love" exists; where happiness and unhappiness exists; where forgiveness and lack of forgiveness resides; and where the glass is both half full and half empty. In the context of contexts only love, peace and innocence exist not matter what form the expression assumes. When a person expresses love (the content realm) to another person they love that person. When a person does not express love (the content realm) to another person they love that person. When a person expresses hate (the content realm) to another person they love that person. In the context of contexts any behavior is the highest form of the expression of love that one person can express to another person in that instant. The context of contexts provides a path out of some very strongly held inappropriate life decisions. It is a way of separating behavior from the person; of forgiving ourselves or another person without forgiving the behavior. It is a way of clearing up the miscommunication of a traumatic event, and a way of experiencing (see "The Breakthrough Experience Methodology" section for an explanation of how it is "experienced") that one is loved no matter what their circumstances are or were. It is a path to our innocence and a path to compassion. A person can unlearn by experiencing the context of contexts and they can unlearn through cognitive/behavioral techniques. In a follow-up group (nine two hour sessions), that sometimes is convened after the Breakthrough Experience, we use both models. Irrational and dysfunctional thought processes are identified and a program of affirmations and/or visualizations is created. If a person is persistent and patient, the mind seems to respond to reprogramming. The speed at which it reprograms is an unknown factor, unique to each person. Behavioral changes often take place automatically following an affective or cognitive experience that is healing. Changing behavior with behavior techniques is direct and it works. I have often utilized systematic desensitization successfully, as well as reframing. The drawback is there is still a possibility that an internal conflict, self esteem issue, etc., still exists. However, the change in behavior may produce positive outcomes resulting in positive reinforcement that reprograms one’s thinking in the same manner as produced by the cognitive techniques of affirmations and visualization. There is no one solution to behavioral and internal issues. It is well known that specific approaches are often more effective for specific mental disorders. The theory presented here is not presented as the theory nor is the view of counseling, presented in the following section, offered as the view of counseling or as the answer. It is presented as a process that builds upon the foundation of love, compassion and forgiveness that offers people a path to an alternative way of viewing and living life. The BE Methodology Introduction You will read about a series of techniques that appear to many to be unusual, yet they are effective. I did not start out to create a bizarre set of techniques in order to attract attention. I began by establishing a goal to create a process that would get a result, particularly for people who experienced a childhood that ranged from upsetting to traumatic. The goal reflected the presenting issues of a majority of people in my practice. The creation of the process was spontaneous. Minutes after establishing my goal, I began writing and the entire process flowed onto page after page of a legal pad. The order and basic process has not changed since it was created in less than two hours in 1982. It has been streamlined a bit and one new technique that facilitated accomplishing one step has been added. Otherwise, the original handwritten "script" could be utilized today. Remember, as you read this, I lived in California for twenty-five years (and returned in 2001). When I left California in 1989, I passed a sign at the border with Arizona that read, "You are now leaving California, resume normal behavior." A View of Counseling and the Counseling Process I am an affective/cognitive/behavioral counselor, focusing first on an affective approach and particularly on a single treatment model. If the specific techniques I commonly employ do not work or are inappropriate, I move to other affective techniques or to a cognitive/behavioral approach. Early in my experience I was a certified Hypnotherapist and not a licensed therapist. I focused on specific techniques so I would not stray outside the bounds of my process. Another reason for focusing on specific processes is because I worked with Psychotherapy Associates of San Diego, as well as maintaining a relationship with other therapists in San Diego County. They referred people to me based upon their knowledge of the Breakthrough Experience process. A substantial number of licensed therapists and future therapists attended the Breakthrough Experience. One was president of the San Diego Chapter of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists, and another was president of the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. The latter subsequently co-facilitated several Breakthrough Experiences and sent his student interns. What is a Problem? The presenting problem is what the client says it is. We may redefine the problem in one of two ways. In conversation, I will assist the client to be more specific and concrete. We also continue to redefine the problem each time we meet by asking for assistance from the person’s "unconscious, " which will be explained. The problem, when it is specifically defined, is a discrepancy between the way a person is feeling, thinking and/or behaving, and how they want to feel, think or behave. The Goal of Counseling The goal of counseling is to help people function more effectively in the circumstances they are in, unless the circumstances are destructive/dangerous. The goal of my own counseling process is to assist the person to transform their perception of life and living from a view that does not work to a view that works (a view that works helps them stay on purpose in how they have chosen to conduct their life; a view that is viable, not self-destructive; and a view that nurtures their being. The shift in perception leads to a shift in self-esteem (according to research conducted over a six month period in 1985, by Dr. Jo Ann Dewey) and a shift in behavior. The Counselor’s Role The role of the counselor is to utilize his/her professional and personal resources to assist the client to arrive at their own result. I believe it is the counselor’s role to structure the treatment process and to follow the lead of the client within that structure. It is also the counselor’s responsibility to recognize when that structure does not work and either help change the structure or refer the client. When following the lead of the client, the counselor should also help the person over barriers and rough spots without redirecting the treatment process nor the client’s goals. A loving shove in the client’s direction can appropriately move someone along their chosen path to recovery or transformation. The counselor is 100% responsible for the results of counseling. The client is 100% responsible for the results of counseling. Like any relationship, 50-50 does not work (1/2 times 1/2 equals 1/4). Each has a role and total responsibility to perform their role with all of the skill, sensitivity and commitment available at the moment. Effective Counselor Behaviors Relationship behaviors are the first consideration. Although I am far from a person-centered therapist (as a model, that is), I do subscribe to Carl Roger’s core conditions of therapy. Empathic understanding, genuineness, and unconditional positive regard are the ingredients for creating a supportive and trusting therapeutic climate. In addition to establishing a warm, open and accepting environment, the counselor must leave the accurate impression of her/his expertness without communicating that (s)he is a superior person with all of the answers. The counselor should serve as a model of communication in all respects. In the process I use the most, the counselor is quite active in the course of treatment. This will be evident when I discuss the process in the next section. Sharing tears, reaching out to touch or to hug (with prior permission), are all appropriate behaviors. Prior permission for any type of touch is always a requirement. I witnessed a woman in a group session jump backwards over the back of a couch when another person approached her with the intention of giving her a hug. It was her first meeting with a "huggy" group. A counselor, with permission, should exchange physical contact in a manner that is comfortable to the counselor. A counselor who is not comfortable sharing a hug, for example, may convey a "withhold" message to someone they hug as a matter of form. Attentiveness communicates interest in people and in their concerns. Nonverbal behaviors, such as eye contact (with appropriate side glances to avoid staring), leaning toward the person, and smiling and nodding lets them know you are engaged in what they are saying and feeling. Occasional feedback or paraphrasing is appropriate in order to let them know you are on the same track. Some disclosure also communicates you understand them and you can empathize with them. Diagnosis Diagnosis is dynamic, evolving, and mostly up to the client. The client makes the first diagnosis by committing themselves to the treatment process, or at least showing up at the counselor’s office (unless, of course, they were coerced into seeking treatment by somebody else who made a diagnosis). I listen to their initial diagnosis, ask questions about it, challenge them on it, if appropriate (for the sake of clarity, not for space to impose my point of view), and help them state their issue(s) in very specific terms. From a practical point of view, I eventually discuss a possible label if third party payment is necessary. We also discuss other uses of a mutually agreed upon diagnosis. Together we choose the most appropriate label. We discuss possible alternative diagnoses as a method of creating a focus on the appropriate issues and setting a goal. However, as soon as we contact the "unconscious" (see the next section) the diagnosis is verified and clarified. At least once during each process and sometimes more than once I check with the "unconscious" to determine if we are still on track. Diagnosis concerns me because I believe it may be responsible for a measure of mental illness -- or, more accurately, for behavior associated with a particular disorder. Some clients study their label very thoroughly and could unconsciously (or consciously) act out the defined behaviors. "As a man (or woman) thinketh, so is (s)he." The Counseling Process This section describes my primary process and is not a discussion of the counseling process in general. First, I will share an overview of the Breakthrough methodology, as utilized in individual sessions, and follow with more detailed description and examples. The Breakthrough Experience begins with a thorough discussion of the Breakthrough philosophy and several preparatory processes before initiating the individual experience. Overview. The individual process begins with goal setting and a brief review of their "story." I describe my method of getting in touch with their "unconscious," along with a discussion of the unconscious and the existence of many "selves" within us. We then determine their present primary fear. I make contact with their "unconscious" in order to see if we are on the right track. If so, I enlist the "unconscious" to assist us to regress to the time in their life when that fear became part of their life. The time usually ranges from the fifth or sixth month in their mother’s womb to about three or four years old. The initial sensitizing event or the decisive event is often felt as it was felt at the time. However, it is viewed from an adult perspective rather than a child’s perspective as well as, on most occasions, from the perspective of the parent(s) involved, most often the mother. The insight at that point is quite often transforming. I usually ask them to create a picture of the transforming event or moment, often a tender, loving scene with their mother, and place it inside their body in a place they choose (heart, mind, soul, etc.). Along with the picture I suggest a cue (such as touching their heart) that will instantly bring back the picture and the feelings of that moment for as long as they live. I guide them back to the present very slowly and suggest they review the major events in their lives associated with their fear. They are able to experience each event with a new perspective and "flatten" the pain and miscommunication. Group sessions are offered periodically as a follow-up for both individual counseling and for the Breakthrough Experience. One group is cognitive-behavioral oriented, with the purpose of identifying a life style that will help them maintain what they have learned and to support each other in the process of activating this lifestyle. A second group supports each participant to recognize their "true Self" (who they really are) and to remove the barriers to trusting the true Self to emerge. Also available upon request is an "open" group that is unstructured. Other groups are possible on specific topics such as relationships, pre- and peri-natal emotional issues and creating the conditions for nurturing a happy, healthy and secure child from planning to conception to birth and through early infancy. The Counseling Process: Goal, Story and Techniques. The goal is established by the client. I encourage and assist them to be as specific as possible. The more specific the goal, the easier the process. It appears we are goal-oriented beings, and the more specific our goal the more likely our mind will keep us on the path to that goal. Also, during the regression, we seem to more easily stay on purpose. Each person’s "story" is primarily an aid to creating a focus on their fear and their goal in order to assist their mind to assist them. It is also some help to me, although not absolutely necessary, to guide them in identifying their fear. In the process of identifying the fear I offer some alternatives while attempting to avoid interfering in their decision. Some of the alternatives are: a fear of abandonment, a fear of rejection, a fear of not being enough, among others. I often challenge their decision by asking, "If you were rejected, what would you be afraid of?" When the response is something like, "I’ll die," or "I won’t exist," I am confident we have reached the bottom line. Sometimes the fear is stated so profoundly or with such dread no questions are necessary. Before attempting to make contact with the part of their psyche I call the "unconscious" or "Higher Self," I describe the process called ideodynamic response (by Ernest Rossi) or ideomotor response (by David Cheek) in Mind-Body Therapy: Methods of Ideodynamic Healing in Hypnosis by Rossi and Cheek. In a workshop with the late David Cheek, M.D., a pioneer in mind-body therapy, it was suggested that one ask the person to allow the nonconscious mind to indicate which fingers communicate which response. I found this difficult to use in a group so I assign a response signal to each finger and it works very effectively. The index finger is "yes," the little finger is "no," the ring finger is "I don’t know," and the middle finger, corresponding to a common gesture, means "I’m not going to deal with it, so lay off." I call this process Guided Ideomotor Response. The idea that there is a level of "consciousness" not experienced by the conscious mind is not new and is familiar to most people. Parents of a new infant can be sound asleep and hear their baby cry or even whimper. What part of them is listening? People can leave work driving their car and arrive at home without remembering much of the drive or drive for miles on the highway without remembering. Who is driving? Many people have communicated with friends and relatives in coma through finger twitches and eye movements. With what part of that person’s consciousness are they communicating. Surgery personnel do not speak negatively about their patients while they are under an anesthetic that produces "unconsciousness." Who might hear? On one occasion only, I communicated with part of the conscious unconscious of an Alzheimer patient who appeared to be totally detached from the process. In order to initiate the procedure, I often ask the person to close their eyes and begin counting backwards (in their thoughts) from 200 to one, while repeating "I am becoming more and more relaxed" after each count. This keeps the left hemisphere of the brain occupied while I ask to speak to or communicate with the "unconscious" or the "Higher Self." This process also leads to a trance state. I explain to the unconscious that the communication is through the nervous system and suggest they take all the time they need to set up the neural linkages. I simply ask the unconscious to let the index or "yes" finger move or raise when they are available. The percentage of people who respond is easily The unconscious or whoever I reach by this approach usually knows the whole story, including cause. They help us get to the source but never reveal it directly. Sometimes Ican speak directly to the "unconscious" and have been told that such a revelation would not benefit the person. I have looked very closely at whether or not I lead the "unconscious" to make such a statement because it has been consistent in every case. It make no difference how sophisticated and knowledgeable or unsophisticated and ignorant the person is of psychology. I also occasionally reach "somebody else." I may make contact with a "protector," whodoes not want this process to continue, or a "child," who may be scared or happy or innocent, etc., or another "self" who is interested in or involved in the fear upon which weare focused. The responses are generally through the left hand (possibly due to the functions of the right hemisphere of the brain), although sometimes it is through the right hand. Left-handed people respond equally through either hand. Often, while communicating with the "unconscious," through the left hand, the right index finger will begin twitching or the hand will begin to rise. It is usually another part of the person Following verification that we are on the right track, I ask the "unconscious" (and/or, occasionally, other "selves") to help as I regress the person to an earlier age. I ask the "unconscious" to signal me with the index finger when we pass through a time when there was a traumatic experience associated with the fear. The "time" is determined by counting backwards by years or months or weeks or days or hours.. The first five counts take a person back to age twenty and from that age we go back by years until it is appropriate to reduce the time spread represented by each count. At age one I often count by months or less to birth, and then by months or less to conception and just before conception. I added "just before conception" a few years ago after a number of people spontaneously arrived there (wherever that is) and were consistent in their descriptions of the experience. Handling Barriers. There are, of course, barriers on the path taken when using the technique described and there are a myriad of alternative responses, each unique. However, there are patterns. Communication with the "unconscious" is not always possible; a "protector self" refuses to cooperate; or, the parent (usually the mother) who shows up by "switching," is unstable or distraught. These are the three most common barriers encountered during treatment. When the "unconscious" does not respond I use a slow, deliberate, step-by-step process. It is possible to regress one fearful event at a time until we get back to the initial sensitizing event or the decision event. I used that process for years before learning the ideomotor response technique from Dr. David Cheek. Often, when the "unconscious" does not respond, I ask if there is someone inside protecting the person from re-experiencing her/his fears. Quite often the index ("yes") finger pops up in response. This is often followed by minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, or even years (in three or four cases in the past twenty five years) of negotiating. Most negotiations are short-term. If it is a long-term block, many people continue working on and improving other areas of their life by working around the barrier. George worked on many phases of his life for about six years, off and on. Finally, his "protector" permitted us to get to the issue. He experienced his father attempting to smother him when he was nine months old. When this block was finally removed his whole life transformed. He is now a therapist. The "protector" is enrolled in the process. We determine that we have similar goals just different methods. We look at the protector’s logic about her/his method of protection and the results. Usually, the "protector" realizes that his/her methods result in the fear being sustained, so they become engaged with me in a process that may get the results we both want. If the person with whom the client "switches" is not in good shape, I carry this modification of the Gestalt chair-to-chair technique one step further. I "switch" the parent with their mother. Often I regress the parent with whom the client has "switched" to their own childhood, ask them to describe their experience, and assist them to understand it by "switching" with their mother. On other occasions, if the issues appear to be systemic, I will communicate with the entire family through the client. It is possible to do a form of family therapy through one person. The "switching" process seems very real to most people. Some people report being detached inside and being observers of themselves being their parent. Information often is brought to consciousness that the client does not know they know -- and it almost always checks out to be true, especially in the realm of emotions. Some experiences have been verified immediately when parents and their adult children attended a Breakthrough Experience together. It appears that we do know the truth about our past miscommunications, yet that truth does not seem to affect our belief system, upon which we base our behavior and, therefore, get our results in life. How do we know that truth? And where is it when we need it? Why do we believe something else when the truth is sometimes (not always) easily accessed by trancework or ideomotor response? When "switching" takes place, we are accessing a realm of the mind that goes beyond our usual perception. What is that realm? The Source of Barriers. All of our barriers have the same source -- fear. Fears are manifested in a variety of creative ways. Social cues may trigger them, such as an interaction with one’s supervisor that reminds the person of an unpleasant parental interaction (usually unconsciously) when they were younger. If the cue is social or external, we can shift the responsibility for examining our fears to an external force we "cannot" control. When fears are manifested in ill health, it can be considered an act of God or strictly biological. When the fear is manifested internally we have to be especially clever, since we are in the domain of the truth. That is were the belief system is useful. We can have or manufacture a belief that is a block to dealing with our fears. "It would interfere with my relationship with my mother" or "cause me to get a divorce" or "everybody knows it is dangerous to get into our emotions." The internal protectors when I have been able to communicate with them vocally, do not usually give reasons. They simply do not permit the person to experience the emotion. I enter into the process of dealing with the blocks by honoring the person’s (or "self’s") right to have the barrier. I often congratulate them for doing such a good job protecting the person (themselves). I may ask them to respond "as if" they did not have the block. If they do not know why they cannot or do not want to respond to a question about their fear, I immediately ask, "What if you did know?" Very often they will respond immediately with an insightful comment. I most often use a cognitive approach when dealing with blocks, as illustrated above. We may discuss the dynamics or mechanics of blocking feelings (i.e., "What you resist, persists"). Or, we may negotiate by looking rationally at what the person wants and whether or not they are getting that by their present behavior. The "protector self" always, in my experience, wants to help "who they are." The objective, at this step, is to come to an agreement regarding the process of getting to the source of the fear. The "protector" is often enrolled in creating an innovative method of protecting the client while not interfering with re-experiencing the initial sensitizing event. A Case. An actual case would best illustrate the next phase of the process. Jenny was an attractive woman, 28 years old, with a pleasant personality, yet a little nervous or shy around people. She had grown up in a loving, upper middle class family, after being adopted at birth. For a while Jenny lived next door to a famous actor and actress and she Jenny’s presenting problem was her unhappiness with being placed on probation at work and being threatened with dismissal. Her job required her to take initiative but Jenny feared rejection if she made a mistake. As a result, she did as little as possible. Jenny later revealed that she had been married and abandoned after eighteen months, followed by a three year "live-in" relationship that turned out the same. At that point, Jenny decided she would never again have a relationship with a man. She also decided to attend a Breakthrough Experience. During the Breakthrough Experience regression, the "unconscious" signaled that there were issues at birth and during the ninth month of pregnancy. After asking the "unconscious" where to begin, we went to the intrauterine experience. Jenny began to cry. I asked her what message she was receiving. She stated that she "was not wanted." At that critical point I suggested she "switch" places with her mother. Initially, I ask them to imagine a part of their essence or energy (perhaps in a ghost-like form) going out of them and inside their mother’s head. Without saying another word about the process, I begin asking to speak with the mother, whose name I have already recorded. I keep Jenny’s "mother" verified she did not want Jenny. When asked if it was Jenny specifically or if she did not want any baby, she responded she did not want any baby. Her decision had nothing to do with Jenny, it had to do with the size of their family and the size of their income. She emphasized she loved Jenny very much and it was a heart wrenching act to give her up. However, she and the father had been assured the adopting family was wonderful, so she was sure Jenny would have a better chance in life with them. Jenny created a mental picture of her mother lovingly stroking her stomach and thinking of the baby with love. She stored that picture, along with the feelings, in her heart. We then moved to the birth experience. It was very unpleasant. Both the mother and the baby were at risk of dying. Jenny was quite descriptive of the circumstances and the feelings of fear. I asked her what she had decided as a result of the whole experience. Immediately, Jenny said, "If I’m not wanted, I’ll die." Note: Jenny had never discussed her birth with her adopted mother and did not know who her biological mother was. Her adopted mother, Katherine, had received a letter from the biological mother, through the adoption agency, describing her birth. She had meant to give the letter to Jenny when she grew up but forgot she had it. When Jenny described her BE experience to her, Katherine recalled the letter and retrieved it. When she and Jenny read the letter together, they were astounded at the accuracy of Jenny’s description. Katherine signed up for the next Breakthrough Experience. The results have been gratifying. Jenny had felt as if she was going to die after each of her relationships ended, so she had given up relationships to avoid those feelings. She is now married and has a child. Also, she not only got off probation at work, she eventually got a raise. A year or so later, she got a similar job at a larger company at an increase in salary of about $8,000. When I spoke to Jenny on her birthday in 1996, she advised me she had a lead position with an international health related corporation. However, she was upset with me for moving to Columbus, Ohio, and not being in San Diego during her pregnancy and the birth of her baby. Summary The path to peace, the journey from where we are to where we want to be, is summarized in three words: Love, Compassion and Forgiveness. Love We express our Love when we treat ourselves and all others with respect and honor, whether or not we "like" them or agree with them. We express our Love when our thoughts and behavior reflect consideration for the well being of ourselves and others. Love is the contexts of contexts. For many it is Spirit. Compassion When we know, not just understand, that we are all innocent children we experience compassion. When we know that our True Self and the True Selves of all humanity are the same, we experience Compassion. When we know that all behavior is the highest form of the expression of love that one can manifest at the time, based on each person’s experience of life, the development of their belief system, their inability to operate outside their belief system, and their lack of experience of the context of contexts, of Love, we experience Compassion. When we transcend ourselves and truly experience the attitudes, beliefs and perceptions of others, particularly our parents and our partners, we experience Compassion. When we lovingly accept and celebrate ourselves and others just as we and they are, we experience Compassion. We can even experience Compassion without being in the presence of or enjoying the company of or feeling safe with some others. Forgiveness When we experience the essence of who we are, which is Love, and we know the essence of others in the experience of Compassion, the act of Forgiveness follows as the wake behind a boat. We can even experience Forgiveness when we do not forgive behavior and when it is not safe nor appropriate nor possible to express our Forgiveness. Forgiveness is not the removal of responsibility. Forgiveness is the removal of blame and the termination of judgment. Forgiveness is when we acknowledge our connection at the level of the context of contexts, the level of Love, the level of Spirit, and we are one. APPENDIX A RINEHART & ASSOCIATES P. O. BOX 28002 RANCHO BERNARDO, CA 92198-1002 858-335-5624 Website: www.breakthroughexperience.com E-mail: lynn@breakthroughexperience.com WHAT WORKS (except when it doesn’t) What works for what!? For more than two decades I have asked several thousand co-students, workshop co-participants and co-clients (until I get this life figured out I am the other “co-”), “Is there anyone present who does not want to be at peace?” So far, the response has been total silence. I believe we share the life goal of being at peace and are consciously or unconsciously seeking ways of behaving and thinking that produce peace. We are seeking “What Works” for personal serenity. What type of behavior and thinking produces peace? I borrowed applicable criteria from an article on what works in organizations (“Transforming Organizations” compiled and edited by John Poppy, et al.), in the July/August, 1980, issue of The Graduate Review. Substituting human behavior for organizational behavior, “What Works” is any behavior or thought that (1) assists one to stay on purpose, (2) is viable, and (3) is nurturing. In my own search, rather than identifying specific behaviors and thoughts, I collected a number of principles of living from a variety of sources. These evolved into my own frame of reference for behaving and thinking; the paths that I have chosen to explore and follow --- except when I don’t. If you choose to pursue these principles there is no certainty they will lead you to a condition you will recognize as “peace.” The only certainty is uncertainty. However, these principles may improve your odds at experiencing the serenity you seek. If you choose behavior and thinking contrary to these principles, the odds are very high that you will not experience peace. AND, it does not work to pursue these paths expecting the behavior and thinking of others to change. These are principles that work (except when they don’t) when followed unconditionally --- no matter what happens around you. These principles are not “the answer.” We are the answer. If you are looking for an “answer,” it will show up only as a consequence of who you are. The principles are: ¨ What You Share with Others, You Get Back, including power. ¨ Establish and Renew Agreements --- it creates flexibility in the context of solidarity. ¨ Keep Agreements --- it establishes confidence and fluent interactions. ¨ Acknowledge and Reward Yourself and Others --- it produces a sense of achievement. ¨ Take 100% Responsibility for creating your life, including your health and what happens around you. ¨ Tell the Truth. The truth is fact or feeling about yourself. Judgments, even about yourself, are not the truth. ¨ Don’t Do What Doesn’t Work. ¨ Serve Others, not in the context of sacrifice. ¨ Love and Value Yourself and Others --- it creates the context within which all of the principles can be realized, and within which we can be in harmony and at peace. I. Lynn Rinehart, Ph.D., National Certified Counselor |
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